Yes this is FatherhoodDiary. It’s just been redesigned to save me time.

Congratulations to my brother Ryan

I’ll make this quick because it’s late…

Tonight our family went to Cape May Court House to watch my brother Ryan graduate from the police academy.  He’ll be a police officer in North Wildwood for the summer and continue going to school until he’s able to become a state trooper.  It’s definitely something to be proud of, not to mention FOP cards for me.

After the graduation the family went out to a seafood bar in Estel Manor called Crabby’s.  Tons of snow crab legs, mussels, and shrimp later, we hit the road back home.

I’m exhausted now and should get to sleep.

Back from Vacation

The Family and MeWe took a family vacation to Busch Gardens last week and I can’t believe it’s already over. My mom and her fiance, 2 brothers, brother’s girlfriend Mallory, Rachelle, and Layla spent a long weekend in a cottage in Williamsburg. The cottage was in a development called Kings Creek Plantation. Our favorite part about it was the fact that it was by itself at the end of a street, and had 3.5 bathrooms. Leave it to my IBS family to get excited about the amount of bathrooms.

Rachelle, Layla and I began our journey on Thursday morning. We were concerned about what a 5 hour drive with an 8 month old baby would be like so we braced ourselves for the worst. From the NJ/Delaware border until the Virgina state line, she was unconscious. There is a god. When she woke up in Virginia she was mildly pissed off about still being stuffed in a car seat, and she let us know. Since we still had over two hours left, Rachelle climbed into the back seat and hit her with everything she had. Fruit, a bottle, juice, clown tricks, magic, a puppet show…Rachelle did whatever she could to keep the baby entertained. And thanks to a performance that would have made Cirque du Soleil jealous, we made it to Williamsburg without one stop.

The cottage was a small, two-story single home with a small “in-law suite” type thing attached to it. It had 3 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms so the couples got their own bedrooms and full bathrooms while Patrick got a couch and a toilet. Since he’s only 13 years old, he didn’t mind.

IMG_1315We unloaded our luggage, stocked the fridge, hooked up the Nintendo Wii and relaxed. It was my brother Patrick’s birthday so we sang Happy Birthday to him. Layla seemed to enjoy the festivities.

Since people were tired from driving, we decided to relax at night instead of going to Busch Gardens. After some Sonic fast-food, and playing Wii tennis and bowling, we hit the sack to prepare for our first full day.

I woke up Friday morning to the feeling of my eye being torn off. I opened my (one) eye and got a face full of Layla’s toothless smile. Evidently her way of waking somebody up is to squeeze their face in her nails. I walked downstairs and found Jason and Patrick cooking breakfast for everybody.

IMG_1333We spent Friday afternoon at a water park, Water Country USA. Unfortunately it was tough to go on many water rides since we had to make sure Layla was entertained. I got on just one water ride but it was a good one. I spent some time relaxing by the wave pool, and took Layla to the kiddie area. The water came up to her thighs and she loved trudging though it while I held her hands.

On Friday night we went to Busch Gardens. Rachelle was a nervous wreck because she psyches herself out when it comes to roller coasters. She’s rode every coaster at Six Flag’s Great Adventure, Disney, and Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure yet she was swearing that she wasn’t getting on any roller coasters at Busch Gardens.

That lasted about 20 minutes.

Rachelle Pooping Her PantsThe first ride we did was The Loch Ness Monster. Rachelle had a stone-faced look while we waited in line. While on the ride, Rachelle kept making these weird screaming noises. I’ve heard them before. I can never tell if they are coaster screams, or legitimate cries of fear. These ones were just coaster screams.

We rushed around the park and knocked out most of the rides we wanted to do: DarkKastle, Alpengeist, Big Bad Wolf, and Griffon (thanks, Pat). We had to wait until Sunday for Apollo’s Chariot.

On Sunday we did breakfast at The Cracker Barrel. In standard Layla fashion, she was extremely well behaved up until the time the food made it to the table. When we started eating she started grunting, and crying, and straightening up. We had to eat in shifts.

Eating at Trapper's SmokehouseLater on in the evening we went back to Busch Gardens and hit up a smokehouse for dinner, then followed up the greasy meal with some intense thrill rides; always a good idea. After riding some coasters, going into some stores, and drinking some beer, we called it a night and said goodbye to Busch Gardens.

We got back to the cottage and played a board game while drinking more beer and eating some pizza. This was one of the most fun times on the trip and a great way to close it out.

There are a ton of pictures. You can view them here on my Flickr page.

Nightmare on Buck Street

IMG_1080Last night we took the baby to Rachelle’s mom’s house.  She started complaining in the car.  When we got into the in-law house she basically told everybody off, cried, and straightened every limb and muscle in her body to be like dead weight; a blatant display of insubordination.  I took her outside and told her like it is.  She ignored me and looked at the birds and passing cars instead.

After my patience was worn paper thin, we caved and gave her a bottle a bit before she was supposed to have one.  We left Rachelle’s parents while Cruella De Vil was sucking down her bottle.  Things were great during the car ride to get something to eat…until she finished her bottle.  She threw the empty bottle down like she was mad at ME because she drinks a bottle like she’s doing a keg stand.

I thought: “I’ll ignore her.”

She thought: “I won’t be ignored.”

…and let out more screams.

Now most of you are probably thinking “She’s just a baby” but when she gets upset, she gets mad like a grown-up.  She gives you a nasty “stink eye”, her eye brows turn down and transform into a uni-brow, and she pinches or pulls whatever hair she can get a hold of.

We got to the diner parking lot and Layla was still screaming.  We decided that bringing her in is a terrible idea, so we would just go home instead.  I was starving.

The only thing that kept her fairly quiet was her Elmo CD.  It’s a bunch of Sesame Street/Elmo songs with Layla’s name inserted in them.  When we finally got home, I opened her car door to find her sleeping.  I wanted to wake her up by dumping cold water on her, but I’ll wait a year before the paybacks begin.

My First Father’s Day

On Sunday I celebrated my first Father’s Day and it was lovely.  My mom volunteered to take Layla overnight on Saturday night, and Rachelle made a hair appointment for early on Sunday morning, which means that I got to sleep in until 11 o’clock…for the first time in about a year.

Rachelle asked what I wanted to do for Father’s Day, and offered to make an extra special meal, but I really prefer to keep it simple and easy.  I’m a lazy man at the core, so laying around, watching baseball, and eating cheeseburgers is an ideal day to me.  But she met me halfway and went out of her way to make outstanding home-made macaroni-and-cheese.  You can’t keep an Eye-talian out of the kitchen.

People have been asking why I haven’t been writing to this site lately (and by “people”, I mean my wife), and honestly there just hasn’t been that much to write about.  Layla has been doing the same tricks for the past few months.  I told her she needs to get a new act but she gave me a disgusted look like usual.  We took plenty of new pictures which I’ll post early next week.

Memorial Day Weekend

The weekend was a good one. Busy, but good.

On Friday night Rachelle and I went to Swanky Bubbles for Steph’s surprise birthday party. Saturday we picked out a new patio set since our old table’s legs always fell off, and the chairs bled green all over peoples’ clothes. My elite craftsmanship came to play, taking me over two hours to put 4 legs on the new table. I got the job done, though, and Matt, April, Jason, and Mallory came over for beer and food. Oh and, under close supervision, I cooked cheese burgers. That’s right… cooking and putting something together in the same day.

On Sunday we took Layla to Rachelle’s parents to go swimming for the first time. In true Layla fashion, she lounged in the water like a queen and relaxed while expecting everyone to push her around. About 75 Coors Light cans later, we went to Matt’s parents for more beer and BBQ food. We all sat around the fire and cooked hot dogs.

And finally, on Monday we went to Steph’s house for a BBQ. Doug managed to successfully cook burgers and hot dogs over what looked like a forest fire…since their grill is broken and leaks propane into the burners. I would have set the neighborhood on fire. At that point in the weekend I was in such a fog, and Layla was in a foul mood so we had to leave earlier than what we would have liked.

Here are some pictures of the weekend.

IMG_0970 IMG_0971 IMG_0972 IMG_0977 IMG_0978 IMG_0980 IMG_0981 IMG_0982 IMG_0983 IMG_0984 IMG_0985 IMG_0986 IMG_0987 IMG_0992 IMG_0994 IMG_0996 IMG_0997 IMG_1000 IMG_1002 Too Cool to Pose for the Camera Layla and Me taking a Swim Great Grandmom Fare Fare Family Fun Layla and her Mom-mom Get me outta here Spellbound Rock on! Aunt Brandy and Layla Julie Batting Dominic Pitching Poppy and Granddaughters Kids in the pool

Daddy Daughter Day

We’re holding an open house tomorrow to try to sell our place, so today Rachelle was running around like a manic to get things prepared.  Since I’m dead weight, my only job was to get the hell out of the house and take the baby with me.  So Layla and I had a daddy-daughter day.  We went to the park, then to lunch.  Here are some pictures of our day.

IMG_0794 IMG_0795 IMG_0796 IMG_0821 IMG_0846 IMG_0854 IMG_0855 Smiling, sort of At the Park Poppy and Layla

Sweet Potatoes = Baby Heroin

EcstasyIn about 10 years Layla will probably resent me for posting this picture, but it really captures just how passionate she feels about jarred sweet potatoes. I’ve never seen anything like it.

The nasty part about all of this is that now all of her clothes look like they are rusted because she spits up orange. Her “accidents” smell exactly the same; horrid, so no change there. Next week is yams, then I believe we’re transitioning to cheese steaks.

Below are a few pictures of my brother’s birthday party, more of the baby eating, and just misc pictures that I probably would have never posted had I not made the change onto this new server. Enjoy…or don’t.

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Redesigned and Moved to a Different Server

This is Jim Kettinger’s fatherhood diary site but it looks different. I had to move it onto a different server and am now using an easier tool to update the site. While it might look different, and not be as user friendly, it’s much easier for me to update and keep current. This means more frequent posts.

There may be some down time while transitioning.


Been Awhile

It’s been awhile since my last post, but everything is going great. Layla is now eating sweet potatoes from a jar, and she’s loving it. Sometimes while we’re feeding her, we’ll hold the spoonful inches from her mouth for a second and she gets confused and doesn’t know what to do so she leans her head into it. Makes for great entertainment at just a small expense from her.

She’s also flopping around like a fish out of water when she’s in her crib. Stomach to her back to her side to holding onto the railing of the crib… every time we check the monitor she’s in a different spot. She still flashes a huge, toothless smile in the morning when we walk into her room. Unfortunately Layla is also a nocturnal crapper so the bedroom smells like a gas chamber.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, so the three of us went to the diner for breakfast. Layla wasn’t happy with sitting still for 10 minutes, so I had to rock her back and forth outside while Rachelle shoveled her food into her mouth so that we can switch. Although it wasn’t perfect and relaxing, it was symbolic of what Mother’s Day is celebrating to begin with: “Thanks for the self-inflicted indigestion for the good of the family.”


Wii and Layla is a Rolling Stone

Since Rachelle and I seem to go our separate ways every night from 9:00pm until bedtime, and since I’m a sucker for good advertising, we bought a Nintendo Wii this weekend as an attempt to share a common hobby. And boy do we ever…

We’ve spent the last two nights competing and jumping around our living room like animals trying to get the upper hand in tennis, bowling, and baseball. I think Rachelle threw her shoulder out yesterday, while LOSING to my golden arm in bowling. Not only is the system a lot of fun, but it can get the heart rate going as well.

In baby news, Layla slept on her belly for the first time last night. We woke up this morning and watched her on the monitor while she slept with her butt in the air. By the time she woke up (and was talking to herself) she had flipped back over on her back. My mother claims that if she spots a toy across the floor, she’ll roll to it to get it. This doesn’t surprise me that she’s that smart, since her head is certainly large enough to house a huge brain.

And finally, Happy Birthday to my brother Jason who turns 25 this week.